More progress

I have been beating myself up for not actively pursuing the completion of any of these goals, when I realized that I've made progress towards a handful without actually trying.
Losing my ID and thus the ability to drive (and hell, purchase alcoholic beverages and cigarettes, if we're being honest) spurred a frantic, four hour long caffeine and Operation Ivy-fueled cleaning spree.

I actually managed to clean my room halfway. There are now four rather large garbage bags leaning against my desk, and several stacks of clothes and books sitting on the floor, making me feel guilty for not finishing the job. It wasn't hard to start, nowhere near as difficult as I'd pictured it in my mind. But it does take momentum, for sure. I remember sitting down on my floor and picking up a lace stocking. Suddenly, I felt so tired that I didn't know if I could continue. It was as if the stocking weighed about 300 pounds. 300 pounds of pure failure. Luckily, I soldiered on, indiscriminately throwing clothes and shoes into piles, and not bothering to sort anything too thoroughly. This is the biggest problem I've run into in the past - I will spend so much time sorting and organizing minutiae that nothing will ever really get accomplished, except one unnaturally organized bookshelf.

I also saw a sign up sheet at work for a Susan G. Komen race for the cure team. For awhile, I was extremely reluctant to sign up - the race day is the 20th of September, which leaves me very little time to train. But I remembered that I can walk three miles now, and if worse comes to worse I can walk, rather than run. So I put my John Hancock on the paper, and that's that.

I suppose the thing I feel most guilty about is that I haven't written Robert any letters. Beyond feeling like a worthless asshole and a terrible friend, it is troubling to me that if I don't write him, I will have completely blown off a "thing." What do I do then? Cross it out? Make a new goal? Who knows. I am not sure what the proper etiquette is for slacking off so hard on one of your 101 things that it becomes impossible to accomplish it.

But hey, the blackberries should be ripe, so you'll be hearing about that soon.

Two steps forward, one step back

Bad things are happening. I've forgotten how to write about my life in terms other than what I'm cooking or what craft I'm currently working on. It feels so self-indulgent to write about my problems anymore, even if I know no one cares.

I make all these lists and plans, expecting them to improve me. In the end, they probably make things even worse. I start looking up, forgetting that there are rocks and ditches on the ground to watch out for.

The Day Zero Project

At Abbe's urging, I have made a list of 101 things I want to accomplish in 1,001 days, or by Monday, May 7th, 2012. There is no rhyme or reason to the way they are arranged, although I may go back through and sort them later. As I complete my goals, I will document my progress here, hopefully with pictures

1. Clean my room stem to stern before the 2009 school year starts

2. Run the 2010 Portland Marathon in under 5 hours

3. Complete my Bachelor’s Degrees in Psychology and Criminal Justice 0/2

4. Knit two socks at the same time using the magic loop method

5. Save $1,000 dollars and make a down payment on a car 0/$1,000

6. Learn to moonwalk

7. Purchase a vintage Schwinn 10 speed and fix it up

8. Go on a camping trip

9. Plant a garden

10. Can and pickle the harvest

11. Go on a bike ride/picnic with friends on the Springwater Corridor

12. Pay off all my credit card debt

13. Update my food blog at least once a week for a year 1/52

14. Learn to play my mom's mandolin

15. Achieve a 4.0 each of my remaining three terms taking more than 12 credits 0/3

16. Become fluent in German

17. Beat Half-Life 2

18. Join a writing group

19. Get a piece of writing published either online or in print

20. Get a piece of art published online or in print

21. Move out of my parents’ house by the end of 2010

22. Apply to a Master’s program for Counseling or Psychology

23. Read the entire CompTIA A+ certification manual

24. Pass the A+ certification test

25. Obtain a concealed carry license

26. Purchase a handgun

27. Walk Hazel 3 times a week for a year 0/156

28. Save all my tips from working at PGE Park

29. Get my ouroboros or skeleton key tattoo

30. Take one picture of myself every day for a year 0/365

31. Have a dinner party

32. Have a tea party

33. Go to 13 coins at 2 a.m. and order the steak and lobster

34. Knit “Shipwreck” from knitty.com

35. Draw a detailed portrait of the characters from our D&D campaign

36. Try an Angel Spit cocktail

37. Join a credit union and close my other bank accounts

38. Finish all of my in-progress knitting projects:

a. Fern Glade hat 0/1

b. Bell Curve skirt 0/1

c. Raindrop lace socks 0/2

d. Mosey legwarmers 0/2

39. Post every knitting project I complete on Ravelry - completed: 1

40. Join the new Holgate 24-hour Fitness

41. Achieve a size 12 pant size

42. Fill an entire moleskine with thoughts and ideas.

43. Start a recipe box

44. Win a contest with an original recipe

45. Make every one of epicurious.com’s “Around the World in 80 Dishes” 2/80

46. Take a weekend-long vacation at a bed and breakfast in Cannon Beach overlooking the ocean

47. Try real haggis

48. Sand and refinish my desk

49. Make a piece of jewelry out of a shell I find at the beach

50. Sell 50 pieces of jewelry 2/50

51. Start a retirement fund

52. Fly a kite at Council Crest Park

53. Read 100 classic books 0/100

54. Watch 100 classic movies 0/100

55. Go to a wine tasting

56. Take the PCC basic motorcycle riding course

57. Spend a day at the Rhododendron Test Gardens

58. Go mushroom hunting

59. Make myself a corset

60. Knit an afghan

61. Win a Twisted haiku contest

62. Run the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure

63. Buy a new laptop

64. Make 5 different infused vodkas 0/5

65. Visit Savannah, GA

66. Go to BPAL will-call in LA with Abbe

67. Get a bunny

68. Re-watch all nine seasons of The X-Files from the beginning 0/9

69. Go blackberry picking and make a cobbler immediately after

70. Go skinny-dipping

71. Get an hour long massage

72. Have my second ear piercings redone

73. Get third ear piercings

74. Learn to play the piano parts for all four of Vivaldi’s Four Seasons

75. Wear my “Men who wear sandals get what they deserve” shirt in public

76. Send at least three packages to my BPAL switch witch during one round 0/3

77. Harvest and dry the figs from our tree

78. See every remaining band on my “bands to see live before I die or they retire” list 0/15

79. Re-download all the music I lost when my computer crashed

80. Learn to swing dance and do it in public

81. Start an aquarium

82. Go bowling at midnight

83. Wean myself off antidepressants

84. Attend a burlesque show

85. Find a way to incorporate Dubby’s ashes into a piece of jewelry

86. Go out dancing

87. Sew a dress from a vintage pattern

88. Start a personal paper diary and write in it every day for a year

89. Hang out with people 10 times when I would normally blow them off 10/10

90. Go scuba diving in a shipwreck

91. Read Gray’s Anatomy cover to cover

92. Learn to hotwire a car

93. Raise and maintain a bonsai tree

94. Write Robert one letter per week until he gets out of jail 0/8

95. Obtain a garter belt and stockings

96. Learn to walk in high heels without looking awkward

97. Start a webcomic and update it three times a week

98. Try durian

99. Go trail running in Forest Park

100. Eat less than 1500 calories every day for three months 0/60

101. Keep a scrapbook of this process.